
yea its only been the 20th for about 15 min so i fet id recap on yesterday.
It was great.
I woke up got a shower. then went to clean my room. which i did a pretty okay job of. not really what i wanted but oh well.
then after about an hour of waiting love came over. we had a great time as usual. we went to the school and hung here ect ect.
it was amazing.
then he had to leave =\
thats when i sat around here as usual.
i find it hard to believe that my sisters need me more when love is over then any other time of the day. its fucking annoying. they never really have anything important to say or want me to do anythign of any significance. they just wanna bug me. i dont bug them when they have people over. but oh well.
ive been sitting here for about all of today trying to learn the candy mounain song. yeah i know im weird but its giving me sonethign to do. even thoguh im pretty much failing at it.
ive also been thinking of stuffs. but thinking never really gets me anywhere but worried. so i try not to as much.. but occasionally my mind wanders and i become the biggest pessimist in the world.
i do it to myself alot. thats when i go for a bike ride. i think about everything on bike rides. but it doesnt really help much. but in some way i guess it does. i just need answers that im not willing to ask questions for. im afriad of the answers in a way.
have you ever had that heart skips a beat feeling or how you feel your throat is closing?
yea i get that alot when i think or ask questions about certain things.
no everyhting
just stuff about my past and such
dont get me wrong
i love to talk about my past.
just some of it still makes me sad
and thats the stuff i tend to keep in the back of my head.
never let that stuff out cuz i know if i do ill end up doubting myself and eveyone else. but to a higher level. so i just dont let it get to me as much. i guess in awhile ill let it out little by little so its not all stuck there for the rest of my life but for now there itll stay.
but on a happier note.
i get to see my love more than twice this week. (complete change in subject)
goign to the alley on friday.
the way kevin described it,it should be funny.
and i guess thats it.
Nicole Elizabeth
I Love Rob Scheld.